Cornbread, yes or no?

Yes

Kelly

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Dave, I heard a rumor from an inside source that Holding Out is breaking up due to emotional complications resulting from Kelly Bechtel's recent divorce from poet Maya Angelou. Were you even aware that Kelly was married? Was he? Is the band breaking up? Who will get custody of Kelly's two month old son, Amosly? How old even is Maya Angelou anyway?- A concerned (though still mostly selfish) fan

Dear Concerned Though Still Mostly Selfish,

You have a list of questions here.  I shall do my best to answer them honestly.

Honestly, I have no idea what this is about, so I will make it up.

Kelly Bechtell, a small town boy from Central Oregon, always wanted to be famous.  Early mornings he would wake up and think, "Golly, I sure can't wait to be famous."  That's how badly he wanted to be famous.  One day, while he was riding his tricycle down the dangerous streets of Redmond, he was jumped by a rowdy bunch of third graders.  They bent his tricycle wheel and pushed him in the dirt.  "You'll never be a world famous rockstar!" they taunted, and left him all alone.  "You may write me down in history, with your bitter twisted lies.  You may trod me in the very dirt, but still, like dust, I'll rise."* he thought to himself.  Later in life, Kelly would became famous, but not for being a rockstar.  No, he tried and tried to shake off the taunts of those third graders, but they always held him back.  He understood why the caged bird sings*.  Later on in life, Kelly developed a hankering for dressing up like a woman.  He thought he was quite a phenomenal woman* and indeed, he was.  He began working and writing again, and discovered a brave and startling truth*, which was that he was a prisoner* to his past.  So he moved on, like the traveler* he had always been, and set out on the road to recovery*. 

Soon, he met famous poet Maya Angelou, and he realized that many of her poems and stories were reflected in his life, except that he was a skinny white kid who grew up in Central Oregon instead of the ghetto.  He took the Black Family Pledge* and became a part of Maya Angelou's household.  They were joined in holy matrimony and  his band, Holding Out, played a really great rock show at the wedding.  However, later, after she bore him a son, whom he creepily named Amosly, Kelly began to have doubts.  He didn't want to be famous for being a husband, but for being a rocker.  So he wrote a song about his wife, and called it Song for the Old Ones.*  She listened to it and thought, Ain't that bad?*  This crushed poor Kelly, and the marriage was over. 

Holding Out struggled after that.  Kelly, who had been one of the four Rocks of Gibraltar in the band, was shaken.  His confidence lost, he could not rock.  The taunts of his third grade bullies haunted his dreams yet again, and he cried himself to sleep every night.  Then one night, his son, Amosly, came and sat in his lap and said, "I am at ease in the arms of a woman." and fell asleep.  Kelly realized something important.  He was in all ways a woman*.  So he got some surgery and now she and Holding Out have never been better.

The End.

Thanks for your concern, Mostly, and we look forward to more questions!

Dave

* - Denotes a poem, story or a line from a poem by Maya Angelou.


______________________________________________________________________________________

If Dave Cramer got in a fight with an army of ninjas, who would survive?-Jacob

Dear Jacob,
This is an excellent question since it is widely believed that I, Dave Cramer, am a ninja of the highest degree. And I am.

First of all, the term "army of ninjas" is a misnomer. Technically, one ninja constitutes an army. Also, one ninja is also considered a "weapon of mass destruction." This was George W. Bush's greatest error in going into Iraq. Seriously? Looking for ninjas in Iraq? You will never find a weapon of mass destruction that doesn't want to be found. Ninjas are too sly. You think that you have found one and you get all excited, when in reality if you had found one you would be dead. Ninjas are fun and playful, kind of like cute and cuddly and extremely deadly puppies. Unless we get angry, and then we channel the ferocity of the elements of nature to exact our revenge.

But I digress. The answer to your question is: No one. Not one single person would be left alive. Even the people who were dead would get killed again. Pray that this never happens... and buy my CDs because otherwise I will get angry.

Thanks for the question! Watch your back, Jacob.

Dave
______________________________________________________________________________________

Sooo...You guys have a list of "covers" that you could play for events. What are the top 8 songs the bad would absolutely NOT EVER play?
cheers,
Someone you know

Dear Someone,
This is an interesting equation.  The obvious songs would have to be the ones that we just absolutely hate.  Personally, I thought this would be an easy find but looking back into my years and years of listening to music it was a little difficult to really pick out one or two standout songs that I really hate.  I mean, sure there are songs that I would always change the station when they came on but do I really hate them?  Then I began to consider something my dad once told me about covering songs.

"If you're going to cover someone else's music, make sure you do it better than they did, or at least as good."

When I remembered this advice, I knew there were some songs that were done so well by their creators that to attempt to redo them would be an insult to their legend.

Here is a list that Scott and I came up with based on these guidelines:

1. Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani
I love doing the sign language to B-A-N-A-N-A-S in time with the music. (The letters B, A, N, and S are the only sign language I know, by the way.)  However, Holding Out will never cover this song because I can’t do sign language and play the guitar at the same time.

2. Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd
A quote from the ever so wise video game, Guitar Hero:
"They don't really want to hear Free Bird, they're just heckling you."

3. Fergalicious by Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas
This song is a pretty good representation of how a really good producer can take a really dumb idea and make it into an incredibly catchy song that you hate but you can't help but sing along with.  The real reason we won't ever cover this song though, is because the only one in the band that actually is Fergalicious is Jenny and she won't do it.

4. Barbie Girl by Aqua
I'm not sure, but I think I might hate this song.  Also, the only one of us who could pass for a Barbie is me, and I don't dress like a woman anymore.

5. B****** Ain't S*** by Dr. Dre (also done by Ben Folds)
This is the dirtiest song I've ever heard.  My own mother would never speak to me again if I ever performed this song.

6. Since U Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson
This is one of my all-time favorite songs and I admit that I did try to perform it at an Emmaus House Coffeehouse one time.  This performance was a disaster and I felt the urge to apologize to Ms. Clarkson personally.  We just can’t sing it like she can.  You go, girl.

7. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen
This is the number one song I think of when speaking of a song that was done so incredibly well by it's creators that any attempt to cover this song would only tarnish it's legacy.  I mean, think about it, how could even begin to orchestrate such a masterpiece?  It's mind blowing.

8. Snap Yo Fingers by Lil John
This song is retarded.

Really good question, someone, keep em comin!
Kelly

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If you could tour with any band, who would it be?
-Jacob

Jacob,
As you may or may not know, each member of Holding Out has very different musical influences.  That makes this a difficult question for us to give one definitive answer.  So, I will include answers from each member of the band.  (including our two main drummers who had no chance to give me their input and may or may not agree with my choices for them.)

Scott:
(Scott actually gave his own input, the rest will be answered by what I think they would say)
Robert Randolph and the family band cause they look they have a really fun time and the audience is always into their music.  But on a much more personal level, probably touring with Kirk Franklin would be an amazing time as well....just to be the only white guy in his choir.

Kelly:
As many of you know, I am obsessed with Amos Lee to the point where it creeps some people out.  So touring with him would probably not be the best idea considering the restraining order that would almost definitely happen.  But still, I love him, what can I say?  I think I would also enjoy touring with Jack Johnson just because it would be so chill.  And finally, I think it would be really fun to tour with Will Smith, if he even tours, I don't know, he might be too busy being a huge movie star.  I've got a lot of respect for Mr. Smith, I like what he has to say in his songs and I think my rap style is influenced by him.  Plus, I would like to be the guy who comes out on stage with him to wave a towel and shout things.

Dave:
Dave loves U2, especially Bono.  (Who I always pronounce his name wrong, I always say Bono like Sunny Bono).  So I think Dave would want to tour with them.  Also, Dave and I have been bouncing around some killer ideas for how to perform some songs by the Decembrists.  So I think Dave would like it if we toured with them and gave them some kickin ideas for how to "spice up their life" if you know what I mean.

Jen:
Jen loves music from the 70's and 80's.  She especially seems to like Earth, Wind, and Fire.  Are they still alive?  I don't really know if they are still alive and touring but they're pretty awesome and it would be fun to tour with them.  I think Jen would also like to tour with TLC so she could take Left Eye's place and sing No Scrubs.

Casey:
Casey likes to listen to bands I've never heard of so he would probably want to tour with them.  I would tell you about them, but I've never heard of them and don't know anything about them.

CJ:
CJ likes to listen to death metal.  He likes it when the bass drum sounds like a machine gun and the lead singer sounds like Satan.  CJ would most like us to tour with Lamb of God, which I've heard is NOT a Christian band.  CJ would also probably like us to tour with a band called Patient 29 (I think that's the right name, they're a local band).  That band reminds me of a good story...

So, there's this place called Rock N Roll Pizza.  It's know throughout the land as a Heavy Metal Cafe.  We somehow came across the opportunity to play in a battle of the bands at this venue.  Our first thought was, well, No.  When we expressed our concern to the lady who was trying to book us she insisted that although the place was known for metal, there would be other elements there on this particular night. 

"There will be a couple pop bands, a blues rock band, and you guys, and like, 1 metal band." she insisted.

So, we went along with the idea and decided to play the show.  When we got there, we were told that we would be the fifth band to play out of 6 bands.  We got all our stuff set and ready and waited for the music to begin.  The first band was a metal band.

We all thought, "Well, glad we got that one out of the way, don't have to listen to any more metal tonight!"

Then the next band came up and began to play.  Another metal band.

"She probably just made a mistake, there won't be any more metal bands tonight for sure."

As we were thinking these thoughts, the next band walked onto the stage.  We noticed a few things.  All the members had hair down to their nipples and there were no microphones on stage.  As we stuffed more earplugs in, and watched the synchronized head-banging we realized it was going to be a rough night.

When the fifth metal band of the night, Patient 29 took to the stage, suddenly something made sense.  We had noticed a few females in the crowd that were dressed like naughty nurses.  Now, as we gazed on the members of Patient 29 the puzzle became clear.  Like one of those Magic Eye things.  All the rockers in Patient 29 were dressed as though they were patients in a psycho ward.  Probably the scariest was the guy who had the leather mask on that Hannibal Lector had to wear.  The one with the metal bars over his mouth so he couldn't bite you.  The crowd went wild to the screams of "SPREAD THE F****** SICKNESS!!!"  That the lead singer was belting out.

As Patient 29 was playing he were like dead men walking to the green room to await our execution.  Our untimely death was nearly delivered even earlier than scheduled when Patient 29's set was cut short due to it being a little long.  Apparently they had another song that they REALLY wanted to play.  The lead singer stormed into the green room screaming, "THIS IS BULL****!!!" and pounding his fists into the walls as we tried to stay out of his way and mumbled, "yeah... totally... that sucks, man..."

After nearly losing our lives in the green room we made our way to the stage and began our set with Dave saying, "Hi, were Holding Out, hope you hate us." and we delivered the music by playing a pretty sweet set that included Give Me One Reason by Tracy Chapman and Gold Digger by Kanye West.  The crowd was polite if not appreciative of our genre and we made it through without having a single vegetable tossed on stage.  Then at the end of all the bands they called us back on stage to have the crowd choose the winner by screaming their guts out to raise the lever on some sort of Crowd-O-Meter. 

And then, something miraculous happened.  When the MC shouted, "LET'S HEAR IT FOR, UM, HOLDING OUT!"  The crowd went wild and the Crowd-O-Meter nearly shattered from the pressure.  We won the battle of the bands and lived on the become Rock N Roll Pizza legends!

Ha, just kidding, we lost.

Anyways, what was the question?  Oh well, thanks for it!
I love you guys!!!
Kelly

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band,
what is your favorite place to play?           
me

You,
I hope it's alright if I call you, you.  I could address this response to me, but that would get pretty confusing.  Like the time when a few of my college roommates and I tried to start referring to ourselves in the 2nd person.  Think about it, it doesn't really work and it's not fun for very long.  To give you a taste of what it's like, I'll write the next paragraph referring to myself in the 2nd person.

You think you can answer for the whole band when you say that Camp Arrah Wanna is your favorite place to play.  You guys love the people there and since all of the campers there pretty much idolize ya'll, it is about as close to being real rock stars as you've gotten so far. 

It's kinda like you're talking to yourself which doesn't seem that confusing until there's another person in the room and no one can tell if you're talking to yourself or to them.  Think about it, think, think about it, yeah.

Peace out, You, and thanks for the question!!!
Kelly

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Kelly-what is your most exciting moment as a lay~baby? muh-ha-ha-ha!
~AWSM

AWSM,
Um, I suppose first I should attempt to explain my understanding of your use of the term lay-baby.  I did have a conversation when I used the term and I remember it being a fun convo but I don’t really remember the context or what I was talking about.  So we’ll have to re-explore this issue if you’ll bear with me.

A layperson or layman is someone who is not a member of the clergy or of a profession, usually used in connection with, say, doctors and lawyers.  So to the best of my knowledge, a laybaby would be a baby who is not a member of the clergy, is not a doctor, and is not a lawyer.  This baby is among the common man, or common babies if you will.  Apparently Cher knew a lay baby as she sang, “Lay Baby Lay across my big brass bed.”

So, I suppose, my most exciting moment as a lay baby (yes, I was a laybaby and have since grown into a layman) would have to have been when Cher asked me to lay on her bed and I was like, “Ew gross, I’m a baby.  I’m out of here.”

Thanks for the question!
Kelly

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What is Scott's Middle Name?
-your awsomeness Christian Rappa

Mr. Rappa,
Robert.....or bob.

Scott Bob Brockett

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Jenny,
Wouldn't you say that YOU are the best looking one in the band, and NOT Dave? I would say that.
-Seceret Admirer

Secret Admirer,
Thanks so much for the question, I was so flattered by this that it took me some time to get up the courage to respond.  In fact, I recently got a new haircut that has given me the confidence I needed to speak to the people, and more specifically, to you, about this matter.

I suppose everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion about who is the best looking in our band, and really about anyone to whom the conversation may lead.  However, I think that in order to get the bottom of this matter, we need to erase all our biases so we can all come to a consensus about this. 

First of all, Kelly is single and male, making him the obvious choice for most female fans.  Also, Dave is male and has a girlfriend.  This second fact, in some ways, makes him even more attractive to our female fans.  We’ve all witnessed this phenomenon of a guy we never noticed before that starts dating What’sherface and suddenly he is looking pretty good.  And we all start thinking, “Well, they’ve only been dating for a little while” and, “She can’t possibly love him the way I could.” Or “They won’t last long once he knows I’m interested.”  Then there’s Scott who is married to me.  Now a married man is a different story to us females.  No matter how attractive we find them we usually keep it to ourselves either because we’re embarrassed, we don’t want the wife to find out, or we just don’t want to be a home-wrecker.  And finally there’s me, the only female in the band, who also happens to be married. 

In order to determine who is the best looking, we must erase all biases as I stated earlier.  So here are some cold, hard, and undeniable facts:
1) Females are more attractive than males.
2) There is no need for a second fact.

Well, based on the facts I’ve stated here, it’s hard to argue that anyone but me could possibly be the best looking person in the band.  As far as who’s the best looking after that, does it really matter?  Just remember one thing ladies, Scott’s taken.

Representing for the ladies,
Jenny Sue

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What is the most embarrassing thing as a group that has happened to you guys? (but now you laugh about it). ~Chancer15

Chancer,
Our most embarrassing moment as a band… this question definitely took some thought and deep contemplation.  As a group we decided on an event that was mostly embarrassing for me, somewhat embarrassing for Dave, and Scott and Jen were mostly just embarrassed that they know us.  I’ll change the names of the other characters in the story to protect their anonymity.

We were on our way home from Colorado this last August and we had decided to stop and stay with some friends of Scott and Jenny.  Their names are Brad and Angelina.  We arrived at the house very, very early in the morning and spent most of the morning sleeping, as we were all exhausted from the long trek home from Colorado. 

In the afternoon we all were to spend the day at the lake playing with Brad’s water toys.  Brad’s family owns a speedy boat with some wake boards and also a few Jet Ski type machines.  Dave, Jen, and I joined Brad and Angelina on the boat as Scott and our drummer, um, Troy Aikman, took out the jet skis.  After an hour or so of taking turns wakeboarding or falling on my face in the water, as I like to call it we decided to switch out and Dave and I took the jet skis out for a spin.

This was my first experience on a jet ski and I was really amazed at how fast I could go on it and it was much easier than wakeboarding.  However, after an hour or so of chasing Dave around and going as fast as I could I grew a little bored of the jet ski so Dave and I decided to rest and just have a little swim out in the middle of the lake.  And since we were a safe distance from the shore and nobody was really around it seemed safe enough to go ahead and swim the way God intended for us to be, think Garden of Eden.  (except I kept on my Ages 12 and under purple life jacket cause I’m cool, but not too cool for safety)  While we were enjoying our swim another Jet Ski with two guys on it flew by, not too close though so we didn’t think much of it.  So Dave and I were having a nice little dip, the skinny kind and then we thought of something that would make riding the jet skis interesting again.  We decided to take a spin on the jet skis in our birthday suits because…well, I don’t know, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

So we saddled up and got ready to roll but unfortunately, the jet skis refused to start.  We floated around trying to start the machines for a few minutes and Dave finally got his to start.  Mine was still refusing though so Dave just kinda drove circles around me while I continued to struggle with the ski.  Suddenly, I looked up to see the Jet Ski that had gone by earlier heading directly for us, and he was maybe 100 feet away or so.  When Dave saw this he immediately fired up the Jet Ski and flew away leaving me like a sitting (and naked) duck.  And of course I was straddling the jet ski with my shorts around one ankle so in order to pull them up I had to first stand and get my legs to one side of the seat, then yank up the shorts and sit my butt back down.  I didn’t even have time to Velcro and tie my shorts back up before the stranger on the Jet Ski was upon me. 

“Having a little trouble?” asked the stranger.

“Uh, yeah, I can’t get the thing to start up again.”  I replied.

“Did you try somethin somthinin the somthin?”  He said (not an exact quote but as close as I can remember.)

“Yeah, I tried that, I can’t get it to work”

“Well then, I’ll give you a tow back in then.” The kind man offered.

“Oh no, it’s really ok, my friends are right around here…somewhere…over there I think, I can get help from them, I’ll be fine.”  I stammered as I pleaded him subconsciously to leave.

“No, it’s ok, I’m Brad’s father, that’s my Jet Ski, I’ll tow you in and you can take this one back out.”  The man who owned the Jet Ski I had just been sitting my bare cheeks on said.

“Oh well, ok then, I guess that’ll work fine…”  I considered jumping in the water and swimming for it but I knew I’d never escape.

Then Brad’s father hooked a tow rope up to my jet ski and proceeded to tow me in which was one of the most humiliating things I’ve experienced because
a) I was just caught riding a Jet Ski naked by the owner of the Jet Ski
b) The water sprayed in my face the entire time from his Jet Ski forcing me to hang my head in shame
c) I was really cold
d) my pants were still undone and I  was afraid to try and do them because he had rear view mirrors

So, when we reached the dock, the kind man gave me his Jet Ski and allowed me to finally escape his clutches.  When I was a safe distance away I fixed my shorts and sped back to Dave who felt really bad for leaving me but would do the same thing again in a second, and I would have done the same thing to him so I couldn’t even pretend to be mad. 

After we left Brad and Angelina I admitted to Scott and Jen what had happened and they again cursed the day they met me, but then we all had a good laugh about it.  To this day I don’t really know if Brad’s father actually saw what I was doing because he was still a reasonable distance away but then again I did stand up to pull my shorts on so…  well, you decide, I just don’t know.  Maybe I should have asked him if he saw anything unusual, that would have increased the awkwardness by a million percent I think.

So, I hope that fulfills your curiosity about our embarrassing moment.  And I hope you all had a good laugh at that one, cause we sure did.  Thanks for the question, keep em comin!

Kelly

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dear band,
Stellar performance last night. Can't wait to see you live at the Rose Garden....We loved your new music. When can we buy your next CD?
"Benney Jailey"

Benney,
That’s a very clever pseudonym.  Well done.  Also, I really appreciate the use of the word stellar.  This is a word that my college roommate, Chris Barker, used a lot and I just don’t think it is used enough by the general population.

I’m also very glad that you asked that question because I’ve been meaning to tell ya’ll about the possibility of us recording a new CD.  If you haven’t heard the buzz yet, I’m not surprised because this news is hot off the press, people. We are going to try and release a live album sometime before the summer hits.  This project is brand new and still in the planning stages but we are very excited about the possibilities.  We may plan a special concert for the explicit purpose of recording this album so stay tuned as to when and where this momentous event will occur so you can be there and be heard screaming your guts out on a real Holding Out album.  I’ll keep you posted on the progress we make with this project and how you can help.  If you’re not on the mailing list already, you should definitely join it so you will know when and where we will be recording the CD.  You can join the mailing list on our Home page of this site.

Thanks for coming out to see us, Benney (and Becca).  We’ll remember you guys when we’re playing the Rose Garden and you’ll have backstage passes for sure!  Stay tuned for when the new CD will be released!

Keep em comin, folks, we love hearing from you!

Kelly

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Do you need some back-up dancers? I may be able to help...
"Gertrude"

Gertrude-
My friend, Lloyd used to have a cat named Gert.  Does anyone ever call you that?

There are shows on occasion that really could be taken to the next level of awesomeness if we had some back up dancers.

Here are some terms:

We cannot pay our dancers, actually we will charge you one large cheesburger from Jack in the Box.  retail value: $1.29

You must supply your own back up dancer outfit and it must be awesome.

We are accepting video applications sent to this address:
Holding Out
13816 SE 97th Ave.
Clackamas, OR 97015

In the audition video you must be wearing your awesome outfit and doing a sweet dance to one of Holding Out's original tunes

You must either choreograph the dance yourself or find someone to choreograph it for you. 

Later, we will make you change it whenever we get sweet ideas about what we want you to do.

You must do any dance move that we tell you, no matter how ridiculous it looks.

Gertrude, thanks so much for the offer, I hope to be receiving a video from you soon.

Kelly

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Band,
Are any of you School of Rock fans, (got this idea from your comment "One good rock show can change the world"). If so, is it because Jack Black is amazing? If not, what movie is?
~Ally (Chancer15)

Ally,
I can confidently answer for the band that we are most definitely School of Rock fans.  That movie made me laugh, cry, and most of all it made me wanna get up and dance!  Good catch on that quote because that is exactly what I was thinking of when I wrote that.  This movie and that quote especially has been an inspiration to us as a band that seeks to change the world with our killer combination of rock, transcendental lyrics, and most of all, LOVE.  “Cause without love, this world is just a game.”

If you can place that quote, little Chancer15, then I will truly be impressed.

I think Jack Black is a big reason for this movie being so awesome.  He is one of our favorite actors as he is VERY funny, a good singer, and he has good moves.  Also, the kids in the movie are just great.  I mean, Lawrence with his, “but I’m not cool”  “the beez-kneez?” lines is pretty classic.  Oh man, I could go on forever but I won’t.

Other movies that the Band enjoys and quotes:
Orange County
Office Space
Anchorman (look for the reference to this movie in our song Hubs, coming to a CD soon)
Saving Silverman

Another two that I would add for myself and not necessarily the band are:
O Brother, Where Art Thou?
Man on the Moon

Thanks for the question Ally, you rock!

Kelly

---

Hey, Kelly
First of all, you and Dave are definitely tied in the "cute" department--don't let him over shadow you!
My question--Dave's new clean-shaven look is pictured on your web page. Where's the picture of your new "do??"
CAM

CAM,
Thanks so much for your kind words.  I’m proud to know that there are people out there who would place me in the same category of cuteness as the mighty Dave Cramer.  I feel the love; people and I hope you all know how beautiful each and every one of you is in the sight of our CREATOR!

Dave’s photo gallery of the shaving of his beard is indeed featured on our Photos page if you haven’t yet seen it.  I would definitely recommend checking this out because the transformation is hilarious, astounding, and devilishly handsome at times.  I think my personal favorite is the solo le mustache with the curly Q ends.  I pleaded with him to keep this but in the end the curly Q’s lay among the other articles of trash in our bathroom garbage can.

I didn’t have the foresight and creativity of Dave in my transformation but here are a few pictures of the process.  (sorry about the low photo quality, I’m still fundraising for a sweet digital camera)


Thanks for the affirmation and the question CAM!  Keep rockin!!!

Kelly

---

There seems to be a lot of hype about Cramer, but I think you're pretty awesome, Kelly.  Anyway, why don't we hear more vocals from Jen? And is it better to buy your CD from Itunes or online?
-Becca

Becca,
First of all, thanks for thinking that I’m awesome.  It’s good to hear that someone out there appreciates me. I know my mom thinks I’m cool but...  Wait a second, I didn’t think of this before but it’s possible that my mom actually wrote this question and assumed the pseudonym Becca so I wouldn’t know…  I’m going to ignore that possibility and try to forget that I even thought of it.  So, moving on, why don’t we hear more vocals from Jen?

I hope that all of you fans do realize the treasure that is Jen’s voice.  It is a very beautiful voice and everyone in the band loves to hear her sing.  I think when our sophomore album comes out you will hear more of Jen than there was on the first album.  We are always trying to come up with new ways to use this asset and I think as we grow together and mature as a band, you will hear Jen’s voice more often and in more prominent roles.  We will use Jen’s voice as a delightful seasoning to bring the recipe of Holding Out to perfection.  Stay tuned Becca, and prepare to be amazed.

The question of where the best place to buy our CD is one that is probably best answered differently for each individual.  If you order our CD from www.cdbaby.com you will receive an actual hard copy of our CD that includes a Holding Out CD with our logo on it and a hard case with our CD insert.  The CD insert does not have lyrics unfortunately but does include some great art (this is a joke of course because the great art I’m referring to is a drawing of five stick figures that slightly resemble the band) by yours truly (me) and each band member’s personal thanks.  To order this CD, the cost is $12.97.  If you want to get the hard copy of the CD, the only other way to get it is to come to one of our shows and buy it directly from us.  We sell the CD’s for $10.00. 

If you are like me and you are a fiend on the iTunes store and you’re not as worried about having all the album art and things like that, you can download our album for $9.90.  The advantage of doing it this way is that it is a little cheaper and you can download it at any time and be listening in moments.  Some people are after the music and some people are more into the whole package.  Some people are patient and some people are not.  Which are you?  Well, answer these questions and you should be able to decide where you should buy our CD.

Thanks for the question Becca.  You rock!

Kelly

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David,
We had no idea you were once a shylock! You've got some explaining to buster, and the true meaning of RA? Our goodness, Heaven help you!
Robin and Bill

Dear Robin and Bill*

I feel that part of the legend surrounding my allegedly roguish good looks is that I somehow became wealthy and Jewish, at least wealthy and Jewish enough to become a Shylock.  If I had this type of dispensable capital, I would certainly have purchased us a tour bus, instead of allowing us to drive an old (but sweet!) Gladiator van, by Chevrolet (You're driving happiness!).  Oh, and RA actually stood for Ragingly Awesome, and there was no way that I was not that.  Sam decided to take creative liberties.  Jealousy was probably the motivator for these two snide comments.  Funny how you signed the comment with your first names instead of Mom and Dad...  And also funny how you actually read the story.  I didn't think anyone had.

Thanks for the emotional outburst!  Keep them coming!

Dave

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Dave,
Don't you think I already had the neccesary basis of information for myth-weaving without you giving away key plot points which make the story worth reading?

Dear Anon*,

No.  It was "necessary."

Dave

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Kelly
How does it feel to be a superstar and a Broke Broke one at that? It must be hard to find a girl to commit to you living on an allowance. Does this mean you have to find a cheap date?          
     Cheap date

Cheap Date,
Um, first of all, did you just ask me out?  I’m not always the slickest of slicksters but I think you just asked me out in a round about way.  I just want to get that out on the table right away, honesty is the best policy.  Communication is key to relationships, cheap date, so I just wanted to get that out there and let you know that’s how I interpreted the question. 

Another thing, I noticed that you not only wrote the word broke twice but also capitalized it.  I suppose this was to add emphasis to the fact that I’m broke.  My first reaction was a small taste of offendedness but then I thought about it, and yes I am a Broke superstar.  I think it’s ok to capitalize the Broke and leave the superstar lowercase because the Broke part is a reality and the superstar is only a reality in a state of potentiality. 

You mentioned an allowance in the question as well.  I think you may have underestimated the level of Broke where I am currently residing.  I don’t technically receive an “allowance” per say.  The band does repay me for my services by taking care of certain expenses that I have.  These expenses, unfortunately, are necessities and do not include dates. 

I suppose part of the reason that the band does not cover my date expenses is because I don’t actually have any date expenses.  As it turns out, not going on any dates at all doesn’t cost anything.

Initially I was trying to avoid answering this question in the affirmative, but I really don’t see any way around the fact that yes, I do need to find a cheap date.

Thanks for the question, Cheap, and, uh, call me I guess.

Kelly


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Scott, Dave, and Kelly, but not Jenny
What do you think the reason for big hair in the eighties was? I ain't nobody's fool,
Richie Sambora

DAVE: Thanks for the question Richie !!!  It's great that people like you, Ace Frehely , and Marla Hooch  (what a hitter) are writing in with such awesome questions!  And let me just say that I'm glad that you asked just "the guys" on this one.  Jen is really starting to annoy us with all her question answering.  Can't get her to stop stealing the glory!

SCOTT:  Hey!  That's my wife you're dogging there, but I must say you're absolutely right.  And good question, Richie. 

KELLY:  No kidding.  I can't wait to discuss hair.  I'm such a big fan of it.

D:  I would be, if I could keep it around!

Group:  (laughter)

S:  Well, I feel like if we're truly going to get into this discussion, we should first see some examples of some of the really awesome hair in the 80s.  Kelly, would you mind walking us through some of the styles...

K:  Absolutely.  Here we have Jon Bon Jovi, a regular rock star.  Notice the hair.  And here, of course, is David Bowie, aka Ziggy Stardust.    A regular in the 80s.  And certainly no one can forget to mention Flock of Seagulls.  Founded by former hair-stylist  Michael Score (second from left) it is easy to see why they were always in style.  All four members of Motley Crue had great hair.  It's easy to see why Vince Neill and Tommy Lee are so awesome.  And Nikki Sixx and Mick Mars, what awesome names, and awesome hair!

S:  You're not kidding!  Let's not forget to mention that the 80s, while being the decade known for big hair, certainly didn't invent the idea, but indeed took it to the next level.  Some famous forerunners were the band KISS Look at Paul (Ace) "Spaceman" Frehely (a regular writer!), Peter "Cat Man" Criss, Paul "Star Child" Stanley, and of course Gene "Demon" Simmons (who was born Chaim Witz in Haifa, Israel).

D:  Interesting.  Well, as you can see, the phenomenon of big hair is quite pervasive, and we didn't even look at bands like Twisted Sister (so cool) , or at older bands like Led Zeppelin (even cooler!).  These bands just had hair.  But remember that the question posed was not who or did they have big hair, but why.  Why is what we're after here gentlemen, and I for one have a theory.

S:  I'm interested to hear it.

D:  Well, it's just a theory, but I would say that for many artists, specifically those with great hair, they feel that it is selfish to keep this hair all to themselves.  They felt it was their duty to grow it as more of a conservation issue.  When they heard about the spotted owl, as well as other endangered avian species, they knew their duty was to provide a safe place.  Check the diagram.  This illustration shows my point.

K:  Hmmm... That's pretty insightful, but I don't think it's entirely true.  I would say that it was to get chicks.  Chicks always associate having awesome hair with masculine virility.  At least that's what I've always heard.  You know what they say about guys with big hair...  Big...

S: I've never heard that.

K: Really?

D: Me either, dude.

K: Oh, well, I was just joking.

S: Right.  Obviously the big hair was like make up, it's a gimmick.  I mean have you ever carried around a duffel bag full of hair product just so you can tease your ends and make the ladies swoon?  Probably not, but these guys (and girls) probably did, just for the money and chicks.  Imagine, guys looking like girls and still pulling hot chicks.  Too bad you guys can't grow awesome hair.

K: Yeah.

D: No doubt.  Well, that just about wraps it up for us.  Big hair meant lots of hot chicks, even for people like Cindi Lauper , I mean, just look at her hair.  Chicks dig that kind of stuff.  Anyway, Richie, I know your hair has been really successful for you in the chick department.  Keep growing it!  You ain't nobody's fool!

Thanks for the question, friend!

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UPDATE:  The sliced bread story will be appearing in the Fan Fare! subpage of Just for Fun.  It is already there.  Go, read, and be amazed.

Thanks!

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Hey Guys, no real questions yet, just compliments. It's rare to see a talented group of individuals that rise above the norm like you guys have. Really only a few in each generation will surface. Holding Out is one of those outstanding talents. It's a pleasure knowing you and look forward to seeing what successes will embrace you in the time to come! Good luck guys/gals! Mitch of Carlyle!

Sir Mitch of Carlyle,

Thanks to thee.  May the fates carry you swiftly to your destiny.

Holding Out

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Are the Holding Out fans who seem to be captivated by Dave's looks familiar with the "Sliced Bread" story? Dave once asked me to stop giving him a hard time about this story, but I think it would be okay now to start pestering him again. Let me know what you think and I'll write something up, maybe post it on facebook or something.

-Anonymous

Dear Anonymous,

Since there is an excellent chance that you are a creative writing major (I just get this sense) I would be willing to strike up a deal.  I am willing that you reignite that fire in your heart that burns with desire to humiliate me and pester me concerning my breadish good looks, but only if you also e-mail a copy of the story that you write to us, so that we may bless all our fans with this wonderful saga.  Please use big words.  And make it funny.

Let me quickly give the basic facts that they will need to know to have a context for the story that will later be posted (possibly on this very page and forum!).

Fact 1:  My sophomore year of college, I received a semi-anonymous e-mail describing me as looking like the lead singer of Hoobastank (who is, in fact, of Asian descent).

Fact 2:  My sophomore year of college, I received a semi-anonymous e-mail describing me as the "cutest thing since sliced bread."

I think that pretty much sets up a basis for our writer to weave his intricate mythology surrounding my alleged good looks.

Looking forward to it.  Check back sometime soon, friends!

Dave

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Dear Dave,
Have you ever considered allowing your fans to vote to determine your next facial hairstyle?
Your Biggest Fan

Dear My Biggest Fan,

I had not, until you so elegantly posed that question, considered allowing the fans to play an active role in my style and personal hygiene.  That is an interesting idea, and quite possibly could become a reality in the near future.  How about this?  In the next month or so, we will put up a poll in which you can all vote on select facial hair styles and after we tally them all up, we will announce a date and location that a rocking show will be played, and sweet facial hair displayed.  The word epic comes to mind...

Thanks for the sweet idea!

Dave

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I thought Dave was already bald.

-Everyone who has seen Dave


Everyone,

Contrary to popular belief, I shave my head.  Also contrary to popular belief, I have to shave the top of my head.  Now that does not mean that my hairline is like the Rock of Gibraltar, unwavering, unmovable, able to stand the test of time.  That would be nonsense.  But that is not the statement that was made.

There are varying degrees of baldness that we must assess.  I hope that by doing so we will push past the propagated myth that I am "already bald."

For this I will call on the assistance of fellow entertainers The Simpsons.

Firstly, Ned Flanders.  He is “not bald.”  Here also is a picture of me "not bald."
    
In fact, for a middle aged man, he is doing quite well on his follicle count.  Much better than I presently am.  He also has a wonderful mustache.  Here also is a picture of me with a mustache.
  He, I find it interesting to note, would not make fun of bald people.  He would probably cite 2 Kings 2:24-25 in the Bible-de-dible-dillio.  Bears maul people who make fun of baldies.

Our second specimen is The Comic Book Guy.  He is clinging in desperation to the days of his hair's youth.  Long and flowing in the back, but losing ground faster than the French army in the front.  Here also is a picture that similarly illustrates myself in a similar follicular situation.
          

I am certain that The Comic Book Guy could cite a superhero or comic book hero with male pattern baldness, I cannot.  Google cannot.  I resign that bald people just cannot be heroes.

Third, there is the man who has accepted his baldness, but it hasn't completely overtaken his head.  For this example, we shall use Homer Simpson.


Unfortunately, I don't have a picture that corresponds to this point in my balding experience.  Give it two years.  But, for the sake of analysis, we notice that Homer has the 'M' hairstyle on the side, with the two hairs which he has creatively positioned in the "comb over" position.  A daring tactic, one also employed by Charlie Brown, also the owner, as you can see, of two hairs ingeniously combed as to give the impression of a full head of hair.
So, only one last follicular situation remains, and that, of course, being

Do you guys fart on stage? Does it get stinky sometimes? Has anyone ever ripped so bad it screwed you up? Have you ever incorporated a particularly loud fart musically into the show? Would you consider it? Who is the best farter of you all?

Fartman,
I can answer for myself that I definitely fart on stage and there have been times when I had gas bad enough that it did affect my playing.  I know they say that everyone likes their own brand but I know there have been times in my life when this was not true for me.  I believe it was during a worship set at Grove Camp last summer when I became so gassy that it caused me to gag a little and mess up a few words.  Jen, who was not too far away from me was not affected however so my cloud was potent but didn’t have much range.  

We have yet to incorporate farts into our live show.  Although we do enjoy a choreographed fart now and then in our own home.  We would consider using it as a part of our show but probably more realistically as a part of a future music video.  

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Scott is the Gas Master of the group as his volume is nearly unmatched and he is the main perpetrator of the aforementioned choreographed blasts.

Flatulence is funny, folks.  It’s unexplainable and undeniable.

Thanks for the flurry of questions,
Kelly

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Dave,
Are we like sheep?
-Anon

Anon,
Yes.  In fact, to quote from a movie that I have no idea what the title is (we shall henceforth refer to it as "The Boys Choir Movie"), "All we like sheep have gone astray."  You see, there was a time when we had gone astray, like sheep.  So yes, we are like sheep.  If anyone knows the title to this movie, I don't want to know.  I just want to call it the Boy's Choir movie.

Dave

Kelly,
You seem to be very cool with the fact that you "lack bulk." How often do you work out?
- Glenn

Glenn,
Yes, I’m pretty cool with the fact that I will never be considered to play the part of a Spartan in a movie like 300, but would much more likely be asked to play the part of a concentration camp victim in a movie or documentary about World War 2.  As a matter of fact I have been asked to play such a part in a school project and I responded with a dignified “No”.

During my sophomore year of college I tore my ACL playing IM Basketball and so was unable to run or play sports for a few months.  I took this opportunity to take my first serious crack at bulking up my upper body by spending some time at the gym working out.  It was pretty embarrassing at first because I had no idea what I was doing and relied on good friends of mine to guide me through every aspect of how to lift weights and it was also a tad bit embarrassing to be lifting smaller weights than most of the girls who came to work out.  Regardless, I pressed on and went for about 2-3 months of working out about 3 times a week.  I ended up gaining 0 lbs. over this time period as was well documented by a line graph made by my roommates which turned out to be the most boring line graph in history.

This experience caused me to give up working out for all time.  My problem is that I just can’t eat enough food to actually build up any body mass.  I just get full.  Period.

So now I find myself in post-college life where I do not live within walking distance of a tennis court, softball field, basketball court, racquetball court, workout facility, swimming pool, and hundreds of people more than willing to “play” with me.  Therefore, I began to feel like a worthless piece of doodoo because I was sitting inside all day doing nothing.  Eventually this led me to take on working out again.  It has been somewhat of a new year’s resolution for Scott and I to work out and it went strong for a couple months where we were doing it 5 times a week.  Now we both have jobs and have settled into 3 times a week if I’m lucky.  I’ve started drinking protein shakes after I work out with a very specific steroid recipe that is tailored to my personal needs and I’m really seeing results. 

Steroids, used by rock stars as well as baseball players, they can turn anyone into a Spartan. 

Thanks for the question Glenn, you ROCK!
Kelly

P.S.  I do not actually use steroids, nor do I condone the use of them to others…

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Kelly-

What is your favorite thing to see done by your fans at a concert and why?
- AWSM

AWSM (America’s Whitest Super Model),
There are so many things that fans can do that will Pump Me Up, so to speak.  Here is the top 5 list of best things for fans to do at a concert:

1.  Not only sing the words to the songs, but SCREAM them!!!  If I am singing a song and I step away from the microphone and hear the crowd screaming the lyrics to a song we wrote, I am super excited by that.

2.  The making of creative and/or witty signs.  There were a few encouraging signs present at my senior recital at which I sang all classical music.  This was highly unorthodox for that type of concert and even a little inappropriate.  My voice teacher was less than amused.  I was ecstatic.

3.  The making of creative and/or witty T-shirts.  This is a sign of true devotion when a fan creates a T-shirt for the express purpose of wearing it to your concert.  I believe we had a pair of T-shirts show up at one show that boasted:  “I HAVE A CRUSH ON KELLY BECHTELL”  (after the show I gave each girl the $20 I had promised them and the rest of the band of was none the wiser)

4.  Waving your hands in the air like you just don’t care.  Especially when I am rapping it is nice to see some hands up swaying to the beat and letting me know that you are picking up what I’m putting down.

5.  And finally, it is always fun to see someone dancing so vigorously that their pants fall down.  This is something that can only happen on accident in order to be on this list just because it means the fan is so lost in our music that nothing matters but getting their groove on, not even pants.

Thanks for the question, start planning which of these things YOU are going to do when you come to our live CD concert this month on the 27th in McMinnville.

Peace Out and use Puffy Paint.

Kelly

 

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why does my ipod charge so slowly at a time like this?

 

Please consider the age old adage (which is absolutely impossible for me to say in a normal cadence):

A watched pot never boils.

Go in peace,

Kelly

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My Dearest Kelly,
I have learned that you majored in vocal perf. and minored in mathmatics? Which is cool, but a little random. What made you decide on this major? Was it a backup in case your music career didn't work out?
-#1FAN

#1FAN,
Yes, it is true that I graduated from Linfield College with a Bachelor’s Degree in Vocal Performance and a minor in Mathematics.  You commented that this was random and I can only assume that you meant the math part as I don’t really see Vocal Performance as a “random” major for me as I am, well, a singer.  So, I must also assume that you meant: “What made you decide on this minor?”  Although, it is also possible that you are aware that one who has a Vocal Performance Major from Linfield College has studied classical music and not the Rock music that I now consider to be my “career.”  In which case I could see how this would seem odd.  So, I’ll answer both cases.  Please email me at Kelly@holdingoutband.com if I have totally misinterpreted your question.

So, why did I choose to get a math minor at Linfield College?  It was, simply, because I like math.  I know, lame answer, but it’s the truth.  I wouldn’t say that I love math the way I love music but I definitely like it.  In high school I always considered math to be my best subject and so naturally I took a class or two at Linfield when I got there.  My first math class was a struggle through the subject of Calculus 2 and I received a C for the course.  This was the first C I had received ever and it led me to believe that I wasn’t necessarily gifted at math so I gave it up for a while.  Then, a year and a half later I tried another math class and it was really fun and I did really well. 

So, I was like, “Hey, maybe I am good at math!” 

Then I decided to go ahead and go for the math minor.  In my next math class I worked way too hard and got a B- so I went back to the feeling that perhaps math wasn’t my calling but for some reason I still liked it.  So I struggled joyfully through a couple more math classes and got my minor.

I wouldn’t say that I ever planned to use my math experience as a back up to my music career.  Although I wouldn’t say that I could never see myself as a nerdy math teacher slash choir director at some middle school or high school some day.

Now, that said, I’d like to answer the question as it was actually stated which is why did I choose the major that I did.  In other words, why did I study classical music when I would eventually play popular music?  Now, unlike math as it turns out, I am a very gifted classical singer.  I don’t know how many of you know this about me but I can sing opera quite well and many of my teachers in high school and college urged me to seek a career in singing opera.  So, when I was deciding what to do in college I knew without a doubt that I wanted to study music.  Vocal Performance seemed like the natural route but did I really want to be a classical singer?  To tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure and I have spent some time in my life considering taking that route.  I decided to go ahead and study how to sing classically because I knew that the voice lessons would help me with my other singing and if I didn’t take voice lessons I would never know what it was like to sing opera and things like that.  When I graduated from college I decided that I liked singing classically and I was good at it but I was definitely not passionate about it, as hard as I tried to be.  I mean, if you think about it, I probably have a better chance at making money doing that then I do singing popular music just because of the HUGE volume of other people trying to make it the popular music industry.  In the end though, it wasn’t about “making it” or being famous.  It was about following my heart and doing what I was passionate about.

And as for it being a backup for my music career, it is a possibility and I plan to leave that option open for me in the future.  For now, I still love what I am doing now and don’t see my heart changing any time soon.

Thanks for the question, I hope to hear some more from you guys soon!

Kelly